Over the years, I’ve learned that there are so many ways to show your husband how much you love him—and plenty of them don’t cost a thing.
While brainstorming ways to bless my husband, I love to reflect on our love story and everything we’ve been through together…
The days leading up to Valentine’s Day hold an extra special place in my heart because my husband and I got engaged on February 12th!
I remember the moment he proposed like it was yesterday.
Benj and I lived over 2,500 miles apart, so we didn’t get to see each other very often. Every goodbye was becoming harder than the last. I was always so full of emotion when he’d wrap me in his arms at the airport.
On this particular visit, Benj was supposed to be flying in on February 13th. Naturally, I assumed that he would propose on Valentine’s Day! I knew we’d be getting engaged soon, and it seemed like the perfect day.
But I was in for a big surprise—and I’m difficult to surprise! Unbeknownst to me, Benj flew in a day early on February 12th.
He traveled all day, rented a car, changed into his suit at my brother’s shop, and finally arrived at the lake behind my house.
The sun was setting.
Benj called me, mentioning how beautiful the sunset was that evening and asked if I wanted to watch it with him!
At that point, I wasn’t able to get out much more than, “Are you serious?!” because I was choking up. I ran down the hill behind our house in complete shock, unsuccessfully trying to hold back happy tears with my hand over my mouth.
When I reached him, he gave me a long hug and walked me over to the lake before getting down on one knee and telling me some of the sweetest, most romantic words I’ve ever heard.
After I’d said, “YES!” he slipped a beautiful ring on my finger and the rest is history.
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13 Free Ways to Show Your Husband How Much You Love Him
Three years later, we’re more in love than ever. But now we have extra responsibilities, like raising a baby, and we’ve learned that we have to be more intentional with our relationship.
The Love Dare has been an excellent read for me this year— I highly recommend it! The book gives both spiritual encouragement and practical ideas on how to to fill your marriage with love. It’s also the inspiration behind this post!
Since we’re trying to save every extra dollar toward our first home, we don’t give ourselves much extra spending money when we budget. Even so, we like to buy each other little gifts with our fun money.
But as they say, the best things in life are free, so I’m trying to find meaningful ways to show Benj how much I appreciate him. I believe that it’s totally possible to show your husband how much you love him without spending a dime!
(The painting I’m holding is a replica of a picture we took minutes after getting engaged. Benj painted it for me as a wedding gift.)
1. Send Him Surprise Texts
Text him in the middle of his work day for no reason other than to remind him that you love him. Tell him something that you love about him, why you’re thankful for him, one of your favorite qualities he possesses—you get the idea!
2. Pray for Him
Ask your husband, “How can I pray for you today?” It will really encourage him to know that you care about his struggles and are praying for him. Prayer is powerful!
3. Cross it Off
Take care of something on his to do list. Maybe it’s a simple phone call, or maybe it’s something more time-intensive, like a project around the house. If it’s a task he’s been dreading or putting off, he’ll be especially appreciative!
Taking initiative is a fantastic way to show your husband how much you love him.
4. Bring Him Breakfast in Bed
This one might be best saved for a weekend morning, but there’s something awfully special about someone bringing you breakfast in bed! It doesn’t need to be elaborate— just something simple and yummy that shows him how much he’s loved.
5. Write Him a Love Letter
Tell—don’t just show your husband how much you love him! Yes, write him a love letter with an actual ink pen and paper stationary! There’s something really sweet and special about handwritten notes and letters. You can make it as romantic, sappy, funny, encouraging, and filled with memories as you’d like.
Benj and I wrote each other love letters during our engagement, and they are some of our most prized possessions! We love reading through them every once in a while and reminiscing.
6. Hide Love Notes
Leave him love notes in random places—under his pillow, next to his toothbrush, in his lunch box, on his steering wheel—you decide! He might also appreciate reading encouraging Scripture verses.
You can simply use sticky notes, or if you’re crafty, make them more decorative.
7. Prepare a Special Dinner
Ask your guy what meal he’s been craving, and make it for him.
Usually, we eat together as a family. But occasionally, Benj and I put Jack to bed a little early and enjoy a quiet dinner together. We end up eating a little later this way, but it’s a nice way to connect at the end of the day.
If you’re able to arrange for a quieter, more romantic setting, then do! Dim the lights, set the table a little fancy, and light some candles. It’s a bit of extra effort, but it does wonders for the ambiance.
We love fondue night, because we eat slowly and talk more!
8. Pamper Him
When we think of pampering, we typically think that it’s something for women. But guys don’t mind a little pampering every once in a while. You can keep it on the masculine side.
- Make him a foot soak at the end of a long day. You can mix epsom salts and a few drops of essential oils in warm water. We just use a simple basin.
- Give him a head massage or massage his neck and shoulders (people who have desk jobs can get especially tight there).
- Bring over a drink and snack that he loves.
The goal is to help him to relax and destress, which is always welcome at the end of a long day!
9. Say Nothing Negative
I’m taking a page out of The Love Dare for this one.
Choose a day and purpose to say nothing negative to your husband. Love is patient and kind, so practice patience and kindness when you feel like giving a snippy or harsh response.
It’s better to say nothing at all than to say something you’ll later regret. This is harder than it sounds!
10. Give Him Your Undivided Attention
Give your husband your undivided attention all evening long. Put your phone in a drawer somewhere so that you’re not distracted by it.
Sit down and let him talk about his struggles and dreams, and make the conversation about him.
When he’s talking, be present and engaged. Don’t just hear what he has to say— look him in the eyes, and listen! Remember, merely hearing is passive, while truly listening is active.
11. Ask Him for Advice
This is such a great way to show your husband how much you love him!
Ladies, I know that sometimes we just want our husbands to listen to us without offering advice (see: It’s Not About the Nail for a good laugh!). But they often have great insight, ideas, and suggestions that we might not have thought of ourselves.
Asking for advice is a great way to show someone that you value and respect them.
12. Iron His Shirts
Pull all of the wrinkly shirts out of his closet and give them a good ironing! Ironing probably isn’t at the top of most guys’ “list of fun ways to spend free time”, so put on a good movie or audiobook and show him how much you care.
If it’s not ironing your guy needs help with, maybe it’s something else, like washing his car or packing his lunch.
13. Hug Him Just a Little Longer
When he comes home, don’t just give him a quick kiss or a short hug. Show him that you mean it, and hold onto him just a little longer.
Not only are long hugs great for you’re relationship— they’re beneficial to your health! That’s what I call a win-win.
Love Doesn’t Cost a Thing
At the end of the day, it’s about being intentional. You can show your husband how much you love him even if you don’t have extra money to spend.
Small, love-filled gestures go a long way! Giving your time and attention to the person you care about most speaks volumes.
By the way, if you’re looking for some free and fun date ideas for the approaching warm weather, I’ve got you covered!
Now, I’d love to hear some of the ways you show your husband how much you love him!
Every marriage is different of course, but I would add “don’t mother him” – treat him with the respect he deserves as another responsible adult who can make mistakes and learn from them. We are not duty bound to control his life for the best outcome! I never thought of myself as a controlling person, but I have found myself “correcting” or “educating” my husband all too often, and my husband reads that as me not trusting him and thinking little of his abilities. In the end, it’s more important that my husband knows that I respect and trust him and appreciate him for finding something we need at the store, than that we save 50 cents on that item by buying a different brand or getting it at another store.
That’s so good, Michelle! Thanks for sharing. I’ve also found it easy to fall into that rut, and I feel like it’s my perfectionistic tendencies taking over. Just letting go and being respectful and appreciative goes a long way!
I wish I read this comment a long time ago . It seems that may be the reason me and my husband have so many issues bc I’m so negative but he’s made so many poor decisions in our past that I’ve always felt I have to recreate a smarter decision in his mind but now I disagree I appreciate all the tips